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Thread: Funny News Stories

  1. #451
    Bloody hell, my jaw nearly hit the floor when I read that. Harnessing the computing power of clouds, bejaysus ...

    The last sentence in the article doesn't really make sense - assuming the word should be "insistent" rather than "repentant", yer man still believes what he was dribbling even after being corrected. I wonder does he think getting pwned is something to do with how you cook seafood?
    Tis but a scratch.

  2. #452

    Facebook finds town too Effin rude for site

    Local battles to change rules
    IT'S one hell of an Effin story. A Limerick woman has started an online campaign to get her native village recognised by Facebook.
    But Ann Marie Kennedy (47) has a problem: the village of Effin has been branded 'offensive' by the social networking giant.
    Ms Kennedy, who works at the University of Limerick, said yesterday that she, along with several more friends, have been trying to insert the village name into the 'homeplace' section of their Facebook profiles in recent months. But they haven't been successful.
    Ms Kennedy also tried to set up a Facebook page entitled, 'Please get my hometown Effin recognised'. But it too was blocked by the social networking site.
    "It came back with an error message saying 'offensive'," Ms Kennedy said.
    "I would like to be able to put Effin on my profile page and so would many other Effin people around the world to proudly say that they are from Effin, Co Limerick, but it won't recognise that," she said.
    "It keeps coming up as Effingham, Illinois; Effingham, New Hampshire; and it gives suggestions of other places.
    "It will recognise Limerick but I'm not from Limerick city, I'm from Effin. I'm a proud Effin woman. And I always will be an Effin woman."
    "It's just a pet peeve," Ms Kennedy -- who lives in Banogue but hopes to return to Effin -- said of her Facebook battle.
    "It's not fair really. It will let you put it in but when you go to save it -- nothing. It's like as if it's blocked.
    "I've tried contacting Facebook but it's very hard to. You can't pick up the phone. There is a forum on Facebook about home towns as other people are having problems as well," she explained.
    Ms Kennedy was born in Effin and can trace her ancestors in the area back to 1857. The village has a population of around 1,000 and is about 40km south of Limerick city near Charleville.
    It is uncertain as to where the village name is derived from but it has been suggested that the origins lie in Cill or Teampaill Eiffin, meaning the Temple or Church of St Effin.
    A spokesperson for Facebook could not be contacted for comment last night.
    “A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned to walk forward.” FDR

  3. #453
    Moderator ick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RED 49 View Post
    Extract from this week's Connacht Tribune:
    Clouds of confusion as Galway councillor tells another to 'go f..k himself"
    A GALWAY councillor has refused to apologise for swearing at a County Council committee meeting after he told a fellow councillor to "go ****himself"
    Local area councillor Seamus O Scanail made the amazing outburst after he was told he was a "feckin eejit" for thinking that cloud computing was only suitable in areas with lots of rain.
    He had told the Infrastructure Committee meeting this week that his native Connemara would be ideal for cloud computing because it has heavy cloud cover for nine months of the year."
    The Independent councillor said that the Government should be doing more to harness clean industries for the Connemara area and he named wind energy and cloud computing as two obvious examples.
    "Connemara in particular could become a centre of excellence for wind energy harnessing, as it is open to the Atlantic.
    Also in terms of cloud computing, we have dense thick fog for nine months of the year, because of the mountain heights and the ability to harness this cloud power, there is tremendous scope for cloud computing to become a major employer in this region."
    However his mistake was pointed out by an incredulous Cllr Martin Shiels who said that "this is taking the biscuit.
    I've heard it all now. You must be a fecking eejit to think that the cloud computing had anything to do with climate."
    Cllr O Scanail took umbrage at the remarks of his colleague and called for them to be withdrawn. When Cllr Shields refused to do so, Tiernan said "go **** yourself, Cllr Shields." Chairman Sile Ni Baoill asked for both councillors to withdraw their comments, but Cllr O Scanail was repentant that Cllr Shields was wrong and that cloud computing is linked to cloud cover.
    It's a good joke, but a fake news item.

  4. #454
    Ah Drick, why'd ya go and spoil it for us? I was even starting to wonder was the guy a distant relative of the Healy-Rae clan.
    Tis but a scratch.

  5. #455
    Moderator ick's Avatar
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    I'm just in a spoiler mood today chippy.

  6. #456
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    Sex shop forced to install secluded side entrance to escape jeers of pub goers

    Thursday January 26 2012
    A SEX shop has been forced to install a secluded side entrance after punters were subjected to loud cheers from the pub opposite each time the door opened with a loud 'ding'.
    The adult shop in Apsley, Hertfordshire, England made the adjustment because of the ribald jeers customers received from the The Bull pub opposite.
    In the summer, those looking to discretely enter the shop were given a shock as pub customers - consisting mainly of builders - reacted with the friendly banter and a loud 'wa-hey!'.
    Landlady Nicola Green, 47, said: "As soon as you open that door it goes 'ding!'
    "When that bell goes people in here cheer, so the shop moved the entrance round the side.
    "Most of our customers are builders and you know what they are like.
    "I think the shop just wanted something a bit more discreet. Some people are quite open about the fact they go the shop, but others might want to stay a bit more secretive.
    "So they did the sensible thing in the end. The lads in here are only having a bit of fun but at least this way it saves their blushes."
    The Private Shop has been open for around 20 years but bosses admitted 'banter' from the pub meant they had to put in the side door 'a couple of years ago'.
    Customers can still use the front door but three quarters choose the door in Storey Street, which has no bell and a wooden screen around it.
    David Brunt, area supervisor for Darker Enterprises Ltd, which owns the shop, said: "We use the side door because it's better than the front door.
    "In the summer when there are people outside, they do tend to make comments about people. It's ribaldry, it's light-hearted banter.
    "We try to keep a low profile. People know we've been here 20 years.
    "Seventy five per cent come in the side door. It's to keep things quiet for people."
    One 46-year-old customer of the shop, who did not wish to be named said: "It was all a bit of fun, but it was terribly embarrassing. People stopped coming in the end. Business must have dropped during the summer.
    "But not they've changed it now so they've sorted the problem at least."
    The only other sex establishment in the borough is the Waggon and Horses strip club in Flamstead, which caused controversy last year when it put up a new sign featuring the silhouette of a naked woman.
    A year ago council chiefs were forced to abandon a list of 'appropriate' locations for sex clubs, drawn up as part of changes to licensing policy, following a furious backlash.

  7. #457
    Protector Of Shrubberies The Word Is Born's Avatar
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    Peter Parker is ****ED! Yet another damning indictment upon pro-creation.


    Some male spiders voluntarily "castrate" themselves during sex in order to increase their chances of fathering offspring, a new study shows.
    The males break off the entire sex organ while it is still in the female, allowing it to keep injecting sperm long after they have scuttled away.
    A quick getaway is understandable; the females often eat their male mates.
    Writing in Biology Letters journal, a team now says castration increases the amount of sperm transferred.
    This boosts the chances of paternity from this pairing, explaining a behaviour had been a puzzle to biologists because, on the face of things, it renders the spiders sterile.
    Breaking off the tip of the palp during sex is fairly common in spiders. It is thought to function as a "plug" to stop other males from later mating with the same female, and potentially fathering offspring with her instead. It also makes sense in light of the female propensity for cannibalising males after sex.
    But full emasculation was not considered necessary for making an effective plug.
    So scientists had come up with other theories to explain the behaviour, known as the "eunuch phenomenon".
    These have included the so-called better fighter hypothesis; eunuchs are more aggressive and agile compared with males sporting intact organs.
    Arms race But Daiqin Li, from the National University of Singapore, and colleagues decided to test whether castration resulted in continued sperm transfer to females of the Nephilengys malabarensis species.
    They dissected the spiders and counted sperm from the reproductive parts under a microscope.
    Their results show that sperm transfer from the broken palp continued after sexual intercourse had been terminated. The longer the broken spider organ was left lodged in the female before its removal, the more sperm were transferred.
    They also discovered that while the percentage of organ breakages initiated by the female spider and those initiated by the male spider did not differ greatly, those initiated by the female generally resulted in a shorter intercourse time and fewer sperm transferred.
    This reduces the male spider's reproductive potential.
    So the authors think that voluntary castration evolved as a response to both female cannibalism of male spiders after sex and to counter the female's desire to control the duration of sexual intercourse.
    Breaking off the whole palp allows sperm transfer to continue after the male spider has bolted and allows males to monopolise the female for longer.
    But writing in Biology Letters, the team does not rule out that other benefits, such as the enhanced aggressiveness of castrated spiders, further justify the cost of sterility.
    The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves

  8. #458

    CCTV police officer 'chased himself' after being mistaken for burglar
    By Andrew Hough

    Wednesday February 08 2012

    An undercover police officer "chased himself round the streets" for 20 minutes after a CCTV operator mistook him for suspect.

    The junior officer, who has not been named, was monitoring an area hit by a series of burglaries in an unnamed market town in the country’s south.

    As the probationary officer from Sussex Police searched for suspects, the camera operator radioed that he had seen someone “acting suspiciously” in the area.

    But he failed to realise that it was actually the plain-clothed officer he was watching on the screen, according to details leaked to an industry magazine.

    The operator directed the officer, who was on foot patrol, as he followed the "suspect" on camera last month, telling his colleague on the ground that he was "hot on his heels".

    The officer spent around 20 minutes giving chase before a sergeant came into the CCTV control room, recognised the “suspect” and laughed hysterically at the mistake.

    The anonymous officer, believed to be the PC's sergeant, told the monthly magazine: "An officer who joined a team in Sussex as a new probationary officer was soon very keen to do any plain-clothes operations and be as proactive as possible.

    "He would be waiting at the end of his shift hoping to be unleashed for a further couple of hours of plain-clothes duties.

    "On one such occasion in a little market town in Sussex which has suffered a spate of town centre shop break-ins, officers were on plain-clothed foot patrol when a report was received of a suspect male in one of the side roads.”

    "The CCTV operator soon had the suspect on camera and everywhere he saw the male the keen PC was on his heels – radioing in to say he was in the same street.”

    He added: "Every time the man darted in to another side alleyway, the PC was turning immediately into the same alleyway, but every time the CCTV operator asked what he could see there was no trace."

    It was at this point that the sergeant entered the control room where he recognised the junior officer.

    "With the sergeant's sides aching from laughter he pointed out to the PC that the operator had been watching him unaware that he was a pain-clothes officer – thus the PC had been chasing himself round the streets."

    - Andrew Hough
    Excellence is hard to keep quite - Sherrie Coale

  9. #459
    Nearly as good as our Polish "Driving Licence" friend.
    Tis but a scratch.

  10. #460
    Munster Berserker Lomasney's Avatar
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    Japanese police and zoo keepers have been filmed fending off a papier mache rhinoceros as part of an emergency drill.

    More than a hundred staff and Japanese police and paramedics took part in the practice as the rhino - controlled by two people - lumbered through the park.
    One worker at Tokyo's Ueno Zoological Gardens was even attacked by the life-sized creature, prompting other keepers to rescue their colleague while pushing the animal away with sticks.

    As the costume is seen as somewhat cute, it becomes somewhat event-like, and while that's not bad at all, we hoped to have something a bit closer to the real thing with ours.
    Toshimitsu Doi, Ueno Zoological Gardens director
    Although visitors were rushed away from the rhino's path, many stuck around to watch the spectacle - designed to prepare workers for a real-life rampage.
    Zoo director Toshimitsu Doi said less elaborate costumes were sometimes used for the annual drills, but that the papier mache rhino was used on this occasion for its impact.
    After keepers surrounded the rhino with a net, they pretended to tranquilise and capture it, at which point the two staff inside the rhino were allowed to shed the costume and return to their normal duties.
    The drill may never need to be put into practice, however - Ueno Zoological Garden has only had four instances of animals escaping in the last 50 years.

    On the Munster pack: "Mothers keep their photo on the mantelpiece to stop the kids going too near the fire." - Jim Noilly, BBC TV (1995)

  11. #461
    Great Chamberlain of the Red Empire Miguel Sanchez's Avatar
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    16/02/2012 - 15:59:03
    A robber who “ranks amongst the all time stupidest criminals to come before the courts” has been jailed for a botched armed robbery where the raiders had to be rescued by the fire brigade.

    Gary Byrne (aged 30) left the scene of the robbery, a gold storage business, with the keys to the safe, locking the shutters behind him. His two accomplices Ian Jordan (aged 33) and Aidan Murphy (aged 32) were trapped inside with two staff members who had been bound and gagged during the raid.

    Byrne of Edenmore Crescent, Raheny was convicted by a Dublin Circuit Criminal Court jury last month following an eight-day trial.

    He was sentenced to seven years in prison after he was found guilty of attempted robbery, possession of an imitation firearm and two counts of false imprisonment at the Bullion Room, Bolton Street, Dublin on August 10, 2010. Byrne had denied all the charges.

    Jordan of Belclare Grove, Ballymun and Murphy of Stag Park Avenue, Mitchelstown, Cork were each jailed for five years by Judge Martin Nolan earlier this year after they pleaded guilty to the same offences.

    Judge Donagh McDonagh described it as “one of the most farcical cases in recent criminal history in Dublin” and said Byrne “ranks amongst the all time stupidest criminals to come before the courts”.

    He said he would give him the “benefit of his stupidity” and suspended the final two years of the sentence after acknowledging that Byrne, with his one previous conviction for assault, was “not a hardened criminal”.

    “It was a well researched but indifferently planned operation. They knew the business owner’s schedule well and raided her premises at the most vulnerable time,” Judge McDonagh said.

    He said he wholeheartedly agreed with the jury’s verdict and praised the “excellent work” of the gardaí and “excellent intervention” of a passer-by who realised a robbery was taking place and alerted the gardaí.

    “It would be easy to consider this whole episode a farce if it were not for the fact that two innocent people were treated in this manner. As far as they were concerned this was the real thing,” Judge McDonagh said in reference to the fact that the raiders had an imitation firearm.

    “One thing is for sure his (Byrne’s) ineptitude and stupidity does not, in any way, reduce his culpability,” the judge said.

    He commented that for “some unknown reason” Byrne left the premises and locked the shutters behind him, leaving his accomplices “to emerge with their hands up and surrendering themselves to gardaí” after being rescued by the fire brigade.

    Detective Garda Brian Quirke told Vincent Heneghan BL, prosecuting, that Byrne was effectively the getaway driver in the raid and he left Bolton Street in the blue Ford Courier van the gang had earlier arrived in.

    He later abandoned this and dumped, the hard hat, high visibility jacket and purple gloves he had been wearing, in a bush.

    Byrne was arrested following extensive analysis of CCTV footage. His fingerprints were later found on the hard hat and he was also captured on CCTV cameras buying that hat on the morning of the robbery.

    He made no comment during his subsequent garda interviews.

    Gda Quirke said the Bullion Room has since closed down. He said the company had traded in precious metals and was not open to the general public. It usually had about €40,000 to €50,000 in cash on the premises and gold to the value of €400,000 or €500,000.

    Gda Quirke agreed with John Peart SC, defending, that Byrne has not come to garda attention since his arrest and confirmed that he was never in possession of the gun.
    Rassie Erasmus "just by speculating before anything is done and dusted, it can ruin a guy's opportunities there".

  12. #462
    Admiral of the Fleet Boo-boo's Avatar
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    The Paul O'Connell Era
    Aussie woman scammed Nigerians: court

    A BRISBANE woman fleeced Nigerian scam artists by stealing more than $30,000 from their internet car sales racket, a court has been told.

    Sarah Jane Cochrane-Ramsey, 23, was employed by the Nigerians as an "agent" in March 2010 but was unaware they were scam artists, the Brisbane District Court heard today.

    Her job was to provide an Australian bank account through which they could funnel any payments they received through their dodgy account on a popular car sales website.

    Cochrane-Ramsey was to keep eight per cent of all money paid into her account and forward the rest to the Nigerian scammers.

    However, the court heard she kept the two payments she received - totalling $33,350 - and spent most of it on herself.

    The car buyers who were ripped off reported the matter to police, who traced the account to Cochrane-Ramsey.

    Police inquiries found her employers were based in Nigeria but had been using a web server in New York to run their dodgy car sales listings.

    Cochrane-Ramsey pleaded guilty to one count of aggravated fraud on Thursday.

    Judge Terry Martin described her as having a "dishonest bent" after hearing she had a history of stealing and property offences.

    He adjourned the sentence to allow her time to provide further details of money she claimed was in a bank account that would allow her to make some repayments.

    Cochrane-Ramsey will be sentenced next month.

    She was allowed bail until then.
    Tic-Toc. POC and DOC. Stop the clock.

  13. #463
    Who'd dare to cross it?

    Slovaks vote to name bridge Chuck Norris

    US action film star leads the running in public vote for name of bridge to cross Morava river into Austria

    Chuck Norris ... strong stuff. Photograph: Miranda Shen/AP

    Slovaks have been voting overwhelmingly in favour of naming a new pedestrian and cycling bridge near their capital after 1980s US action film and TV star Chuck Norris.

    The two other top names in the running for the bridge, which will span the Morava river and cross the border to Austria, were Maria Theresa after an Austro-Hungarian empress and the Devinska cycling bridge in honour of the closest village.
    Norris, a martial arts expert-turned film star, is known for playing tough guy characters in such movies as Lone Wolf McQuade, Missing in Action and The Delta Force.
    The actor's work has become a popular source of kitschy fun among Slovaks and a mainstay for local jokes about macho strength and invincibility.
    The final decision will be up to a regional assembly. But regional governor Pavol Freso has said it would follow the wishes of the people in the internet ballot where Norris leads as the top choice for the bridge's name.
    "The same way as we have so far been building it in full sight of the public, we will seek that the name is accepted by the public as well," he said.
    The voting will run until April. As of Thursday, 1,157 votes have backed Norris, 74% of the total, leaving the runner-up "Maria Theresa Bridge" far behind with 8%.
    Tis but a scratch.

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  15. #464
    My name is Mandy and I live with my mom! i_like_cake's Avatar
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    By the Bar....
    He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

  16. #465
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  17. #466
    Leader of the Red Hordes LuckyDucker's Avatar
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    Ben & Jerry's Apologizes For "Lin-Sanity" Fortune Cookie Flavor

    In a rush to stamp their brand on the Zeitgeist, Ben & Jerry's released a new frozen yogurt flavor last week in honor of rising Knicks star (and Harvard grad) Jeremy Lin. The limited edition "Taste The Lin-Sanity" flavor was only sold for a few days in their Harvard Square location before controversy arose over the inclusion of "fortune cookie pieces." After initially replacing the first batches, the company has now formally and directly apologized: "We offer a heartfelt apology if anyone was offended by our handmade Lin-Sanity flavor," they said in a statement.

    "We are proud and honored to have Jeremy Lin hail from one of our fine, local universities and we are huge sports fans," Ben & Jerry's said in the news release. "Our intention was to create a flavor to honor Jeremy Lin's accomplishments and his meteoric rise in the NBA, and recognize that he was a local Harvard graduate. We try (to) demonstrate our commitment as a Boston-based, valued-led business and if we failed in this instance we offer our sincere apologies."

    Initially, the flavor was a mix of vanilla frozen yogurt, lychee honey swirls and the fortune cookie pieces—those have since been replaced by waffle cookies, a decision which Ryan Midden, Ben & Jerry's general manager for Boston and Cambridge, had said was only made because "a couple of [pints] got returned because the cookies got so soggy."

    But in the wake of the ESPN "chink in the armor" headline controversy, the Asian American Journalists Association (AAJA) released a handy guide to the media advising them not to use certain kinds of language or make certain connections with Lin just for the easy puns. Regarding food, they wrote: "Is there a compelling reason to draw a connection between Lin and fortune cookies, takeout boxes or similar imagery? In the majority of news coverage, the answer will be no."

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  19. #467
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    Nike puts its foot in it with 'Black and Tan' sneaker

    WITH ST Patrick’s Day around the corner, the giant footwear company Nike is releasing two beer-themed sneakers or runners to mark the date....The company is presumably unaware of the historical connotations of the use of the term “Black and Tan” in this country. At the Premier online shop ( they say about the “Nike SB Black and Tan Quickstrike” sneaker: “Tis the season for Irish beer and why not celebrate with Nike. “The Black and Tan...."

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  20. #468
    Sin Binned
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    Lao People’s Dem. Rep.
    Bloody hell...

  21. #469
    Admiral of the Fleet Boo-boo's Avatar
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    The Paul O'Connell Era
    "put yourself in their shoes", takes on a whole new meaning.
    Tic-Toc. POC and DOC. Stop the clock.

  22. #470
    Admiral of the Fleet Boo-boo's Avatar
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    The Paul O'Connell Era
    Celebrity bunny crushed to death by cameramanSave this story to read laterby: From correspondents in BerlinFrom: APMarch 15, 2012 11:20PMTil was born in February in a small zoo in Germany and had been a rising star in the country's celebrity animal scene. Picture: APRelated CoverageInside your Daily Telegraph iPad appThe Daily Telegraph, 1 hour agoCameraman hit by PM's, 23 Feb 2012Cameraman hurt in chase for GillardHerald Sun, 23 Feb 2012Faulkner: Year of the suffering farmerAdelaide Now, 4 Feb 2012Mutant rabbit found near Fukushima plantPerth Now, 13 Jun 2011AN earless baby bunny that was a rising star on Germany's celebrity animal scene had his 15 minutes of fame brought to an abrupt end when he was accidentally stepped on by a television cameraman.The fate of 17-day-old Til, a bunny with a genetic defect, was plastered across German newspapers today, the same day a small zoo in Saxony was to have presented him to the world at a press conference.The cameraman told Bild newspaper he hadn't seen Til, who had buried himself in hay, when he took the fateful step backwards.Zoo director Uwe Dempewolf told Spiegel magazine Til didn't suffer: "It was a direct hit."Germany has been home to several global animal celebrities in recent years, including polar bear Knut and Paul the prognosticating octopus.Read more:
    Tic-Toc. POC and DOC. Stop the clock.

  23. #471
    Great Chamberlain of the Red Empire rathbaner's Avatar
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    23 March 2012 Last updated at 19:25 GMT

    Borat anthem stuns Kazakh gold medallist in Kuwait

    Kazakhstan's shooting team has been left stunned after a comedy national anthem from the film Borat was played at a medal ceremony at championships in Kuwait instead of the real one.

    The team asked for an apology and the medal ceremony was later rerun.

    The team's coach told Kazakh media the organisers had downloaded the parody from the internet by mistake.

    The song was produced by UK comedian Sacha Baron Cohen for the film, which shows Kazakhs as backward and bigoted.

    The spoof song praises Kazakhstan for its superior potassium exports and for having the cleanest prostitutes in the region.

    The film outraged people in Kazakhstan and was eventually banned in the country. The government also threatened Baron Cohen with legal action.

    Reports say the film is also banned in Kuwait.
    For the over the hill and the past-it, nothing is impossible.

  24. #472
    Moderator ick's Avatar
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    Olympics Organizers Ask Keith Moon to Play Closing Ceremony

    The Who drummer has been dead since 1978

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  26. #473
    Moderator ick's Avatar
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    Police in Bolivia have been ridiculed online all this week after releasing what’s been dubbed the world’s worst e-fit picture to help solve an eight-month-old murder case.

    more e-fit pictures on the link.

  27. #474
    You must do Bosco's Avatar
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    Never Never Land
    Thats Becks!
    The Source for this post is The Internet
    I don't know Jeff!
    Munster Squad Tracker 2011/2012
    Munster Squad Tracker 2010/2011

  28. #475
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    Not hilarious - but they were lucky!

    Moron! I always thought there should be some sort of basic motor skills, technical aptitude and dexterity tests before being aloud to handle a gun!

    Gun safety class man shoots himself

    Tuesday April 24 2012 A man accidentally shot himself and his wife during a firearms safety class in the US.
    The Bedford County Sheriff's Office in Virginia said Michael Deel shot himself in the hand with a .45-calibre pistol. The bullet also struck his wife, Michelle, in the leg as she was sitting beside him.
    The accident happened during a firearms safety class at a house. The instructor, Thomas Starke, told police he had left the room and then heard a shot.
    The Deels were taken to a local hospital where they were treated for non-life threatening injuries.
    Mr Deel said the shooting was a "stupid accident."
    Press Association
    Last edited by No. 16; 24th-April-2012 at 14:02.

  29. #476
    Protector Of Shrubberies The Word Is Born's Avatar
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    The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves

  30. #477
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    Just in.

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  33. #479
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    This is wrong and flawed on so many levels it is funny...

    Forget the recession, we are the fifteenth happiest nation on earth according to the OECD

    IRELAND is the fifteenth happiest place to live in the world – according to a landmark international study.

    Overall Australia is ranked as the world’s happiest nation followed by Norway, the USA, Sweden, Denmark and Canada.

    The results emerge from an online index pulling together a information about everything from health, crime and income levels to “work-life balance” across the 34 countries in the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development.

    Our nearest neighbours in the UK are marginally happier with their lot, coming in at no 11 in the study.

    Ireland performs very well in overall well-being, as shown by the fact that it ranks among the top ten countries in several topics in the Better Life Index.

    Money, while it cannot buy happiness, is an important means to achieving higher living standards. In Ireland, the average person earns $24 156 USD a year, more than the OECD average of $22 387 USD a year.

    But there is a considerable gap between the richest and poorest – the top 20pc of the population earn more than four times as much as the bottom 20pc.

    In terms of employment, some 60pc of people aged 15 to 64 in Ireland have a paid job, above the OECD employment average of 66pc. Some 64pc of men are in paid work, compared with 56pc of women.

    People in Ireland work 1,664 hours a year, less than most people in the OECD who work 1,749 hours on average. Almost 4pc of employees work very long hours, much lower than the OECD average of 9pc, with 6pc of men working very long hours compared with just 1pc for women.

    Having a good education is an important requisite for finding a job. In Ireland, 72pc of adults aged 25-64 have earned the equivalent of a high-school degree, close to the OECD average of 74pc.

    In contrast to the overall OECD experience, more women have graduated high school than men, as 68pc of men have successfully completed high-school compared with 75pc of women.

    In terms of the quality of its education system, the average student scored 497 in reading literacy, maths and science in the OECD’s Programme for International Student Assessment (PISA), in line with the OECD average. On average in Ireland, girls outperformed boys by 12 points, slightly more than the average OECD gap of 9 points.

    In terms of health, life expectancy at birth in Ireland is 81 years, higher than the OECD average of 80 years. Life expectancy for women is 83 years, compared with 79 for men.

    The level of atmospheric PM10 – tiny air pollutant particles small enough to enter and cause damage to the lungs –is 13 micrograms per cubic meter, considerably lower than the OECD average of 22 micrograms per cubic meter.

    Ireland also does well in terms of water quality, as 89pc of people say they are satisfied with the quality of their water, compared with an OECD average of 85pc.

    Concerning the public sphere, there is a strong sense of community and moderate levels of civic participation in Ireland, where 98pc of people believe that they know someone they could rely on in time of need, higher than the OECD average of 91pc.

    Voter turnout, a measure of public trust in government and of citizens' participation in the political process, was 67pc during recent elections, below the OECD average of 73pc.

    There is little difference in voting levels across society; voter turnout for the top 20pc of the population is 65pc and for the bottom 20pc it is 68pc, suggesting there is broad social inclusion in Ireland’s democratic institutions

    In general; Irish people are more satisfied with their lives than the OECD average, with 77pc of people saying they have more positive experiences in an average day (feelings of rest, pride in accomplishment, enjoyment, etc) than negative ones (pain, worry, sadness, boredom, etc). This figure is higher than the OECD average of 72pc.


  34. #480
    Admiral of the Fleet Waterfordlad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Waterford, Ireland
    LOL. Great reporting!! '60% is above the average of 66%'
    "There are a lot of points that we’ve left behind and this is with a young group. That probably tells you what they’re capable of and that they’re a very good side.

    Probably next year or the year after next they will take some stopping"

    Anthony Foley, May 2016. Axel RIP

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