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    The Christmas Dinner



    Just browsing through R.J Clarkes book "I'm Dreaming of a s**te Christmas"and have just learnt that according to Debrett's Etiquette and Modern Manners Christmas dinner should be served no later than 3.26pm. Other essential advice includes how one should correctly pull a cracker, how to pass the cranberry sauce( mirror, signal, manoeuvre) and how a gentleman might best avoid disgrace when tackling the "breast or thigh?" question. I cooked, sorry overcooked the turkey last year. It was so well done that whenI proudly went to carve it just collapsed in a heap(a bit like Eddies hair).Still, when I tossed the turkey around with some brussel sprouts and mashed potatoand oodles of gravy it didn't look all that bad. One of the twins baulked at my masterpiece however and enquired if the Chinese was open. A clip across the ear sorted that out well enough. The dinner was pursued in grim silence apart from the odd snort of suppressed laughter from herself and muchtoing and froing by the kids, no doubt to get rid of as much of the turkey as possible in the bin. Even my King Charles, who thinks that no other human exists on this planet apart from myself sniffed disdainfully at the turkey proffered to her in her dish and looked at me with such a wounded expression that I threw her food into the bin myself. I ploughed manfully on and finished everything on my plate and only gagged twice in the process.I then sat down for the rest of the evening trying to shift the mostly undigested meal from my stomach with copious quantities of merlot. I woke up a few hours later in the final throes of labour and hastily beat a retreat to the reading room where after a massive effort the Christmas dinner was finally over and out.


    Anyway, to avoid a further repeat (excuse the pun) how do you cook a turkey properly?

    #2
    Originally posted by dipstick


    Anyway, to avoid a further repeat (excuse the pun) how do you cook a turkey properly?


    AFAIK isn't it about 20 minutes per pound, or something like that. Please don't quote me as I wouldn't want your family to endure another dinner like last year[img]smileys/wink.gif[/img]
    Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

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      #3


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      Does santa not bring the dinner?[img]smileys/c&#111;nfused.gif[/img]
      The Source for this post is The Internet
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        #4
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        Originally posted by Bosco



        Does santa not bring the dinner?[img]smileys/c&#111;nfused.gif[/img]
        If only!

        Dipstick, you want about 20-25 mins per pound, plus 20 minutes in a hot (200 C) oven, plus some resting time (for the turkey, not you) before you serve. Lots of basting (about every 20 minutes but try not to let too much heat escape from the oven) Put some streaky bacon to cover the breast and a bit of foil over the breast for the first hour or so to stop it overcooking. Some butter under the skin is good and not too much pr**king of the skin during cooking will keep the flesh juicy (although you do need to run a skewer into the thigh to check the juices are clear - that's when you know it's done.

        My mother usually boils the turkey before roasting which gives a very moist bird and roasts a lot quicker but she is barking mad and I've never done that myself.

        A meat thermometer is a great investment if you're worried about undercooking rather than overcooking.


        Hope Not Hate

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          #5
          Weigh the turkey, and calculate the cooking time. Allow 15-20 minutes per pound (allow 10-15 minutes per pound for turkeys weighing over 16 lbs). Place the turkey, breast side up, in an oiled roasting tin.
          Set the oven at Gas Mark 7, 220°C (450°F).
          Season the turkey with salt and pepper and dust with a little flour. Rub all over with the butter, then lay the bacon slices on the breast, overlapping each other. Cover the bacon with a piece of buttered greaseproof paper. This will keep the bacon in place. Wrap the turkey loosely in foil and roast in the preset oven. After the first 3/4 of an hour reduce the heat to Gas Mark 3, 170°C (325°F). Baste a couple of times during roasting. For the last 1/2 hour remove the tin foil.
          To check if the turkey is cooked pierce the thickest part of the leg - the juices should run clear.
          When the turkey is cooked remove from the oven, transfer to a large plate, reserve the cooking juices in the tin to make the gravy. Cover the turkey loosely with foil and allow to rest for 1/2 hour in a warm place..<A class=normal href="http://www.cl&#111;ngorey.com/local-news-page8695.html#top" target="_blank">
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            #6
            Many thanks Cat. I have a meat thermometer but I usually forget to insert it. Sounds quite painful doesn't it? Your mother's tip sounds good too. Tell her to keep taking the tablets.

            Comment


              #7
              Great stuff lads. Any tips for the rest of the fare? What about carrots/parsnips roasted in honey etc

              Comment


                #8


                Its obvious where you went wrong.That was deciding to have turkey. [img]smileys/wink.gif[/img]





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                  #9


                  Roast parsnips are the only way to go with parsnips really (other than soup.. or maybe stew... possibly casseroles... but anyway, I recommend roastin). You can roast them with the carrots and garlic (in its skin) forthe sweetest veg dish imaginable... Honey sounds yummy but too easily burnt methinks...


                  Also good is braising the carrots in butter, sugar and water at the bottom of a saucepan for a few minutes. Works well with spinach too - for a VERY short time.


                  Stay away from thesprouts. They are the devil's spawn.
                  The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man - George Bernard Shaw


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                    #10
                    I think honey or sweet glazes make parsnips too sweet. I parboil parsnips and sweet potatoes for about five minutes, drain until completely dry and then roast together in hot oil for about an hour. Salt, pepper, maybe a bit of mustard, splash of balsamic vinegar (but I want the veg crispy rather than steamed, so not too much liquid). Red cabbage with apple, carrots in butter and parsley and a little bit of broccoli and you're about done.

                    Sprouts are pointless and inedible but apparently it's against the law not to have them on the christmas table.

                    Lavish attention on choosing a good variety of spud for roasting and make a couple of sorts of stuffing and your family will think you're Jamie Oliver. Whether that's a good or bad thing is not for me to say.

                    Hope Not Hate

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                      #11
                      Originally posted by SecondRowGal


                      Roast parsnips are the only way to go with parsnips really (other than soup.. or maybe stew... possibly casseroles... but anyway, I recommend roastin). You can roast them with the carrots and garlic (in its skin) forthe sweetest veg dish imaginable... Honey sounds yummy but too easily burnt methinks...


                      Also good is braising the carrots in butter, sugar and water at the bottom of a saucepan for a few minutes. Works well with spinach too - for a VERY short time.


                      Stay away from thesprouts. They are the devil's spawn.


                      How long do you roast the carrots forSRG and how many cloves of garlic would you suggest? Do you know I'm starting to feel mad hungry? Any good wines, preferablywhite around? I know there is a wine column but just to tie in with the Christmas theme all you wine buffs out there might suggest a few and where to buy them. Going to Cork tomorrow with herself.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by dipstick


                        Anyway, to avoid a further repeat (excuse the pun) how do you cook a turkey properly?


                        How should I know, thats the wife's job.
                        \"Golf is a game for c**ts\" Ronnie Drew

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by ECSquared
                          Originally posted by dipstick


                          Anyway, to avoid a further repeat (excuse the pun) how do you cook a turkey properly?


                          How should I know, thats the wife's job.


                          You think my cooking is bad....

                          Comment


                            #14
                            I'm the one with the advanced cookery diploma in my house, sure the wife can't even cut an onion properly... (there is a correct way you know...)

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by ECSquared
                              Originally posted by dipstick


                              Anyway, to avoid a further repeat (excuse the pun) how do you cook a turkey properly?


                              How should I know, thats the wife's job.


                              [img]smileys/lol.gif[/img]
                              they call it \'passion\', we call it pride

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