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12 Tv double-entendres

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    12 Tv double-entendres

    12 of the finest double-entendres that have been aired on British TV &


    1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from

    Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"

    2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl

    Gibson comes inside of him.

    3. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I

    once rode her mother."

    4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that

    nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford


    5. US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is

    playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his

    balls and kisses them ..... Oh my god!! What have I just said??"

    6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live'

    said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

    7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed

    and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight

    inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set,

    but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

    8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: " Ballesteros felt much better today

    after a 69 yesterday."

    9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North

    said: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night

    like this."

    10. Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky

    Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he


    11. Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male

    astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked:

    "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in

    his shorts."

    12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny

    Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to

    use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."


    A man walked into a Bar and asked the barman for a "double entendre"

    So he gave him one
    If a man stands in the middle of the forest with no woman around to hear him - is he still wrong?


      Ted Lowe ...."and Fred Davis, the doyen of snooker, at age 76 and no longer able to get his leg over, prefers to use his left hand instead" [img]smileys/lol.gif[/img]


        another Ted Lowe special....commentating on Steve Davis in Pot Black: "Steve is going
        for the pink ball - and for those of you who are watching in black and
        white, the pink is next to the green."


          Colemanballs from wikipedia....

          <h3>@@@@SPAN ="mw-line">@@@@/SPAN></h3>
          <ul>[*]"He [Diawarea] brings out an extra six to twelve inches and it's a fantastic tackle." (Scott Minto, BBC)[*]"If he opens his legs, he'll be hard to handle." (Graham Taylor)[*]"Ardiles strokes the ball like it was a part of his anatomy." (Jimmy Magee, RTÉ)[*]"Neil Harvey, standing at leg slip with his legs wide apart, waiting for a tickle." (Brian Johnston, BBC)[*]"Botham struggled to get his leg over there." (Jonathan Agnew, BBC)[*]"Rutherford's asking the umpire how many balls he's got left... he's got two." (Bryan Waddle, Radio New Zealand)[*]"This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing." (Pat Glenn, Weightlifting Commentator)[*]"I was saying the other day, how often the most vulnerable area for goalies is between their legs..." (Andy Gray, Sky Sports)[*]"The Czech Republic are coming from behind in more than one way now." (John Motson, BBC in 27th minute of World Cup 2006 game against Italy.)[*]"And Michael Schumacher just stood on his seat and pulled out something special." (Martin Brundle, ITV)[*]"Gary Neville says that Porto are a bunch of girls who go down too easily." (Peter Schmeichel)[*]"This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother." (Ted Walsh)[*]"The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey." (Brian Johnston, BBC Radio 4, Test Match Special)<sup id="_ref-3" ="reference">[7]</sup> (possibly apocryphal)<sup id="_ref-bbc_5" ="reference">[1]</sup><sup id="_ref-4" ="reference">[8]</sup>[*]"Arsene Wenger's lips are firmly sealed on Sir Alex



            When Ireland played Holland in the Euro 96 playoff in Anfield, there was a guy called De Kok playing for Holland. On the BBC commentary was David kerb-crawler Pleat who said (from memory ). "De Kok is everything you want in a defender, big strong, and stiff" (he most definitley said the 'stiff' bit)

            I could only watch cricket at gunpoint, but I heard of a memeorable piece from a commentator referring to the surnames of the central protagonists at the time : " The bowler is Holding; the batsman's Willey"
            Unrepentant Langer


              Julian Dicks is everywhere. It’s like they’ve got eleven Dicks on the field.</pre>



                There used to be a column in the IT Monday sports supplement devoted especially to Bobby Robson's qoutes, but one was just brilliiance itself,whether he intended it or not

                " We need this tout suite. The tooter the sweeter"
                Unrepentant Langer