Dear Taoiseach

[No. 16]

Does he actually do anything anymore at all a'tall? Anyway - some suggestions I found in an email. Anyone have Inda's address? Or maybe if someone sees him at the hurling final today they could pass this on?

Subject: Letter to the Taoiseach


Dear Mr. Kenny
>
> Please find below my suggestion for fixing the Irish economy.
>
> Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the
> money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.
>
> You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
>
> There are about 400 thousand people over 50 in the work force.
>
> Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the
> following stipulations:
>
> 1) They MUST retire.
> 400 thousand job openings - unemployment fixed
>
> 2) They MUST buy a new car.
> 400 thousand cars ordered - Car Industry fixed
>
> 3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed
>
> 4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university - Crime rate fixed
>
> 5) They MUST buy €100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
> And there's your money back in duty/tax etc
>
> It can't get any easier than that!
>
> P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of the Dail pay back
> their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances
>
> If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.
>
> Also;
> Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.
>
> This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.
>
> They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical
> treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying
> it out.
>
> They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped
> instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.
>
> Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed
> and returned to them.
>
> A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and
> snacks to their cell.
>
> They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
>
> They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual
> counselling, pool and education.
>
> Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.
>
> Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.
>
> Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.
>
> There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards
> would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.
>
> The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised.
> Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and
> pay €600 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.
>
> Think about this (more points of contention):
>
> COWS
> Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad
> cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Mayo
> almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept
>
> And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable
> to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country.
> Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Also;
> Think about this ... If you don't want to forward this for fear of
> offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us
> grumpy old folk of Ireland to speak up!

[Jenta]

Is that rubbish still doing the rounds?

Although that bit of casual xenophobia at the end is new I think.

[The Last Stand]

Just one point - not taking the rest seriously but, contrary to what bill Cullen says, we don't have a car industry.

[Jenta]

Just one point - we don't have a car industry.

Unless we can come up with 400 billion quid I'm not sure it matters.

[The Last Stand]

Unless we can come up with 400 billion quid I'm not sure it matters.

You got in before my edit. Not disagreeing with you.

[glorob]

Rubbish like this almost makes our politicians appear intelligent and capable.

[Piquet]

almost

[No. 16]

Gas isn't it? It's a shame it really all is a bad joke. The reality and the rubbish. But I am still impressed that beef can actually be traced back to its birthplace though in this country (as far as we know), but they don't know where septic tanks are and are not. And Jenta is right - If immigrants were coralled, shipped by truck, and hereded into a new corale and with ear tags installed - I'm sure they could be kept track of too. Pure genius the lot of it.

[Scott]

But I am still impressed that beef can actually be traced back to its birthplace though in this country (as far as we know)

the animal recording system is accurate to well less that a half of a percent, every movement from farms and all a cows family can be traced with the touch of a buttom. Its a pity the same system can't be enforced for humans

[No. 16]

the animal recording system is accurate to well less that a half of a percent, every movement from farms and all a cows family can be traced with the touch of a buttom. Its a pity the same system can't be enforced for humans

Yes, I like it when my butcher can tell me where my lamb came from. However, you really think it's a pity the same system can't be enforced for humans? Ahh - maybe you're right. everyone should be tagged and tracked on GPS - video surveilance everywhere and bugged with a mic for good measure. mmmm....

We could progress to that, but I think what you are referring to is birth certificates and passsports - Which are probably accurate to close to a half a percent (in Ireland).

[Scott]

I think we should know who exactly is roaming around our country, thats all

[No. 16]

I suppose you're right - whatever about how lax the border control gate may seem in Shannon...I assume they actually have records of entries and exits through the scanned passports at check-ins. - I haven't been on a ferry in years...Do they keep electronic passenger records?

[Scott]

I suppose you're right - whatever about how lax the border control gate may seem in Shannon...I assume they actually have records of entries and exits through the scanned passports at check-ins. - I haven't been on a ferry in years...Do they keep electronic passenger records?

no not on ferry, I had a friend who was drawing the dole using another guys card I also know who had emigrated 2 years previous, such is rife. simple system would solve this. Also a register to say who is getting the dole would solve allot of bogus claimments

[glorob]

no not on ferry, I had a friend who was drawing the dole using another guys card I also know who had emigrated 2 years previous, such is rife. simple system would solve this. Also a register to say who is getting the dole would solve allot of bogus claimments

I trust that as a concerned citizen you reported both to the appropriate authorities.

[Jenta]

the animal recording system is accurate to well less that a half of a percent, every movement from farms and all a cows family can be traced with the touch of a buttom. Its a pity the same system can't be enforced for humans

You think it's a pity the Government can't track the precise movements of individual citizens at all times? Pretty severe reaction to a bit of welfare fraud I think.

Although to be fair "touch of a buttom" did make me giggle.

[Scott]

You think it's a pity the Government can't track the precise movements of individual citizens at all times? Pretty severe reaction to a bit of welfare fraud I think.

Although to be fair "touch of a buttom" did make me giggle.

not the precise movement just who is on the island at any one time

[Balla Boy]

is that rubbish still doing the rounds?

Although that bit of casual xenophobia at the end is new i think.

you're part of the problem!

[Benny]

not the precise movement just who is on the island at any one time

But the 26 county Govt don't have any jurisdiction over the entire island. I don't see how they could know or why they should know the location of every person in the 6C....or in the 26C for that matter.

I mean every time a person gets on a plane from Dublin to London do you want the Irish Govt to be informed?

Or are you only worried about all those nasty non-Irish people flooding into the country to feast on the fruits of your labours?

[Benny]

You think it's a pity the Government can't track the precise movements of individual citizens at all times? Pretty severe reaction to a bit of welfare fraud I think.

Although to be fair "touch of a buttom" did make me giggle.

Hey Jenta, maybe he wants a PRC system in place. I can see it alright. Every time an Irish person stays in a hotel or guest house in Ireland they have to produce their passport to be scanned so the Govt can keep an eye on where they are and how much money they have to spend on hotels etc. It could be used to target people for extra taxation if they are found to be staying in any fancy places which should be out of their financial reach.

[joeriddick]

Subject: Letter to the Taoiseach


Dear Mr. Kenny
>
> Please find below my suggestion for fixing the Irish economy.
>
> Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the
> money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.
>
> You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
>
> There are about 400 thousand people over 50 in the work force.
>
> Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the
> following stipulations:
>
> 1) They MUST retire.
> 400 thousand job openings - unemployment fixed
>
> 2) They MUST buy a new car.
> 400 thousand cars ordered - Car Industry fixed
>
> 3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed
>
> 4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university - Crime rate fixed
>
> 5) They MUST buy €100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
> And there's your money back in duty/tax etc
>
> It can't get any easier than that!
>
> P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of the Dail pay back
> their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances
>
> If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.
>
> Also;
> Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.
>
> This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.
>
> They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical
> treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying
> it out.
>
> They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped
> instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.
>
> Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed
> and returned to them.
>
> A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and
> snacks to their cell.
>
> They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
>
> They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual
> counselling, pool and education.
>
> Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.
>
> Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.
>
> Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.
>
> There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards
> would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.
>
> The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised.
> Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and
> pay €600 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.
>
> Think about this (more points of contention):
>
> COWS
> Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad
> cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Mayo
> almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept
>
> And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable
> to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country.
> Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Also;
> Think about this ... If you don't want to forward this for fear of
> offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us
> grumpy old folk of Ireland to speak up!

If this post was any more childlike and naive it'd be dating Gary Glitter.

[Balla Boy]

If this post was any more childlike and naive it'd be dating Gary Glitter.

Chapeau.

[No. 16]

If this post was any more childlike and naive it'd be dating Gary Glitter.

Emmm. I did consider putting it in the jokes thread...but didn't want to ruin that for the contentious nature of it, the comments that would likely follow (hence the new topic that can dwindle away when ye're done with it). I knew it would cause comment. I naively thought the bit about the nursing home would garner more attention than the tracking of cattle or fahrnurs or whatever....

You do realise most of the time I post I am either spoofing, lying, stirring up debate (as distinct from wumming, but sometimes shitstirring) or simp;ly taking or making a point for the sake of argument whether I agree with it or not...

But now that you've raised the issue of paedophilia...or was it hebophilia as recently purported on this site. You could bring up that Primate and the dishonerable John Kirby and hash out the issues surrounding alphamegamia.

But seriously - I was being more lighhearted and seeing the funny side of it - the joke...get it? Now you've gone and gone all offesnsive and.......Not funny. You vulgar and distasteful person you....

[joeriddick]

Emmm. I did consider putting it in the jokes thread...but didn't want to ruin that for the contentious nature of it, the comments that would likely follow (hence the new topic that can dwindle away when ye're done with it). I knew it would cause comment. I naively thought the bit about the nursing home would garner more attention than the tracking of cattle or fahrnurs or whatever....

You do realise most of the time I post I am either spoofing, lying, stirring up debate (as distinct from wumming, but sometimes shitstirring) or simp;ly taking or making a point for the sake of argument whether I agree with it or not...

But now that you've raised the issue of paedophilia...or was it hebophilia as recently purported on this site. You could bring up that Primate and the dishonerable John Kirby and hash out the issues surrounding alphamegamia.

But seriously - I was being more lighhearted and seeing the funny side of it - the joke...get it? Now you've gone and gone all offesnsive and.......Not funny. You vulgar and distasteful person you....

I assumed you were joking, that's why I only quoted the email part.

[No. 16]

I assumed you were joking, that's why I only quoted the email part.

Oh. OK. I see. Still doesn't excuse your sick sick sick sense of humour. Sicko scary man with the scary avatar.