Handy Tips

[No Bother]

My top 3:

1. Any glasses wearers, a quick wash of the specs under the tap with some washing liquid is like a whole new day.

2.Cyclists: get 2 bottle carriers, on short trips use the second carrier to hold a wide neck bottle and shove your keys, phone, etc into it, even a rain jacket if you can afford one that small.

3. The vomiting child. Up to a certain age it's impossible to direct a vomiting child where to release the cargo. When they are exhausted and lying in bed beside you just waiting to spew again, bath towels are your only option, you can cover the projectile area and save the bed.

[masterchief]

4. Don't eat yellow snow.

[taz]

5. Don't eat loads of onions before going to meet your in laws.

[munstershane]

6) always keep your bananas away from other fruit as the skin of the banana (or the gas produced as it ripens) will cause other fruit to ripen quicker and spoil more quickly.

[No Bother]

5. Don't eat loads of onions before going to meet your in laws.

Would love to thanks that loads more.

[Hugged Rugger]

5. Don't eat loads of onions before going to meet your in laws.

Eat garlic and baked beans instead

[No Bother]

7. packet of nappy sacks in the car, use them on my hand when filling the car, no diesel on me.

[Cowboy]

7). No maintenance fruit fly trap, get a jam jar, half fill it with cider vinegar or normal vinegar then drop in 4 or 5 drops of fairy liquid. The smell vinegar is irresistible to the little ****ers, they land on the liquid and the fairy liquid breaks the surface tension and they sink and can't escape. Added bonus, the vinegar breaks them down in no time so you don't need to empty it.

[taz]

Eat garlic and baked beans instead

Finished off with a few prunes.

[munstershane]

oh and before someone posts it, spraying wd40 on your bathroom mirrors to stop them fogging up does NOT work.

[No Bother]

I like that

[fitzy73]

9) Never trust Internet people for advice.

[No Bother]

Seriously!!!!

[No Bother]

oh and before someone posts it, spraying wd40 on your bathroom mirrors to stop them fogging up does NOT work.

When your camping it's one of 2 things you always need, wd40 to stop things sticking that shouldn't stick and duct tape for things that don't stick but should.

[taz]

When your camping it's one of 2 things you always need, wd40 to stop things sticking that shouldn't stick and duct tape for things that don't stick but should.

10) You always need a tent as well when going camping.

[No Bother]

10) You always need a tent as well when going camping.

Not always ( check avatar)

[munstershane]

10) You always need a tent as well when going camping.

not if your bivouacking

[taz]

not if your bivouacking

I bet Larry would love that.

[No Bother]

[QUOTE=taz;1100053]I bet Larry would love that.

[taz]

It was a handy tip for Larry.

He will have super tips when he spots this thread.

[Huwie]

5. Don't eat loads of onions before going to meet your in laws.

Eat garlic ....... instead

Ya cos vampires don't like garlic.

[Huwie]

7). No maintenance fruit fly trap, get a jam jar, half fill it with cider vinegar or normal vinegar then drop in 4 or 5 drops of fairy liquid. The smell vinegar is irresistible to the little ****ers, they land on the liquid and the fairy liquid breaks the surface tension and they sink and can't escape. Added bonus, the vinegar breaks them down in no time so you don't need to empty it.

Take same mixture minus disolved fies.
Add warm water. And use to clean windows.

[No Bother]

It was a handy tip for Larry.

He will have super tips when he spots this thread.

sorted.

[mr chips]

oh and before someone posts it, spraying wd40 on your bathroom mirrors to stop them fogging up does NOT work.

Smearing some shaving foam over them does, though.

[munstershane]

Smearing some shaving foam over them does, though.

lol. Nice try

[lactose intolerant]

The use of a condom will save you thousands on childcare costs

[Old Dog]

The use of a condom will save you thousands on childcare costs

Rear entry achieves exactly the same outcome but without the requirement for a prophylactic. (A tip for the lactic intolerant?)

[Cowboy]

The use of a condom will save you thousands on childcare costs

A tip for your tip so to speak.

[No Bother]

The commentators curse happens in real life too: "Henry Shefflin is having a quiet game, minute later he makes Kilkennys' first goal". I warn the teenager to be extra special super nice to the sister just back from 4 days camping with cubs as the lack of sleep and food makes them a tad sensitive, 2 minutes later major meltdown with shattered cub bawling and teenager right fighting, seriously!!!!

[Waterfordlad]

Best handy tips collected from Viz Comic:

SAVE doing unnecessary ironing by putting on your shirt and tucking it into your trousers. Then, draw a line around the shirt at belt level with an indelible marker pen. The material below this line will never need ironing, thus saving time and effort.

SAVE a fortune on laundry bills by giving your dirty shirts to Oxfam. They will wash and iron them and you can buy them back for 50p.

IDENTICAL twins. Use Morse code to cheat in exams by stabbing yourself in the arm with a sharp compass. The other twin, at home with a text book, can “feel” the question and stab you back the answers.

SPAGHETTI BOLOGNAISE makes great intestines for a badly wounded Action Man

GIVE your office that fabric shop feel by pushing all the desks together and fixing rulers along one edge with Blu-Tack.

CREATE instant designer stubble by sucking a magnet and dipping your chin into a bowl of iron filings.

FOOTBALLERS, pass the ball slowly amongst your defenders and goalkeeper during extra time and then moan about the “insane lottery” of a penalty shoot-out.

MINOR skin grafts can be performed on pigs by covering any cuts and grazes with thin strips of bacon.

CLIMB on to your neighbour’s roof and dangle a fish on a bit of string in front of his windows. He’ll think his house is underwater.

BUY a television set exactly like your neighbours’. Then annoy them by standing outside their window and changing their channel using your identical remote control.

MOTORISTS. Pressing your fog lights switch a second time after the fog has cleared will actually turn your fog lights off.

CHEER loudly at 8pm each Saturday to fool the neighbours into thinking you have won the Lottery

X-FILES fans. Create the effect of being abducted by aliens by drinking two bottles of vodka. You’ll invariably wake up in a strange place the following morning, having had your memory mysteriously “erased”.
AVOID jet lag by simply taking an earlier flight, thus arriving fully refreshed and on time.

PUTTING just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes’ eyes bulge and causes them to swim in an amusing manner.

THICKEN runny, low-fat yogurt by stirring in a spoonful of lard.

A NEXT door neighbour’s car aerial, carefully folded, makes an ideal coat hanger in an emergency.