DINOSAURS SOUNDED LIKE SCOUSERS, SAY EXPERTS
THE steaming Jurassic jungles were alive with the sound of dinosaurs that sounded like aggrieved Scousers, paleontologists have claimed.
<SoNG>
<DIV style="FLOAT: right; WIDTH: 270px" align=center ="mosimage">

<DIV style="TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center ="mosimage_caption">The fossilised skull of the Arkidosaurus </DIV></DIV>
<DIV></SoNG>Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, has examined the throats of major breeds of dinosaur and insists they would have produced a noise similar to a rusty wheel spinning in a tuba full of phlegm.
His theory, confirmed by Wikipedia, suggests the extinction of the dinosaurs may have been caused by mass suicide after the giant creatures could no longer bear to listen to themselves.
He added: "Dinosaurs existed for 160 million years. So anyone who's used the Euston to Liverpool train - a journey time of just three hours - can fully appreciate the true horror."
Archaeological digs in Arizona have uncovered the partial remains of a Velociraptor signing a book of condolence and what was previously thought to be fossilised scales surrounding bones is probably change stolen from a child dinosaur's piggy-bank.
Professor Brubaker explained: "The primordial plains would have sounded like the outside of Yates' Wine Lodge after last orders.
"Imagine watching
Jurassic Park while dragging your nails down a blackboard and having your DVD player nicked at the same time. Something like that."
Despite Hollywood frequently being criticised for scientific inaccuracy, Brubaker feels the Spielberg blockbuster echoes his theory exactly.
"Some of the dinosaurs were portrayed as slow-moving, dimwitted and prone to s**tting where they stood. But most were sneaky, vicious b*****ds that would wreck your house and bite your face off if they weren't behind bars.
"So, in other words, Bootle on a Saturday night."